A guy I knew from high school asked me to join his softball team. He had randomly posted on Facebook last year that he needed a girl sub, I told him if I lived in Colorado I would play... sure enough he held me to it. I love to play softball. I organized the coed team at my last job in Texas and eventually gave the coed team to the ex. I enjoy it, I am pretty good at it.
We have not won a game. My team is competitive, we never get blown out and I have met some people I know I would not have normally. But we lose... typically by one point. It gets frustrating, give me an A or give me a F. Being average can take it's toll sometimes. Tonight we were playing our second to last game of the season and I found myself in a comfortable spot behind home plate playing catcher. I have played here all season long. I like it... but I am too good defensively to hide out behind home plate. I realized that tonight as we lost by one and I watched several girls make error after error on simple plays, I realized I didn't try all season. Whoa.
Why? Why would I not put myself in the best place to give my team the best chance to win? Was I afraid of being on a new team and the thought that it would be me making those errors? I realized I was just as responsible for every single loss this year as anyone else. I sold myself short. It was a harsh realization. I would give myself a F.
