When I ran my marathon I asked a good chunk of people in my life to send me a song to add to the marathon playlist. I thought this was a good way to get new music that I hadn't listened to during my miles of running and I would think of that person as the song played on my 4 hour adventure. Three people suggested "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings. I had heard this song before and thought "that is a happy song, good choice," crazy that was the only repeated song. And then I slowly started to realize this is the theme song of my 29th year...
"Holding back everyday the same, don't want to be a loner, listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all."
This was the 4 to 5 months in Dallas. I turned into a shell. I can remember getting on the elevator where I used to work, silently saying, "Please. Let nothing happen today." It then turned into, "What the hell is going to happen today." I kept most of what was going on inside, I didn't want to bring attention to myself or make the ex look bad. I wanted someone to stand up for me, to tell him to stop... but I never asked. After tons of conversations with old coworkers since I left, not sure anyone knew how bad it was. I never said anything at all.
"They call me quiet girl, but I am a riot, yeah"
I got back to Colorado and I broke out. I forgot how much fun I was. I made this clear to my running partner when I went back to Dallas, I have enjoyed tons of sporting events, Sunday Fundays... I may not bring the party, that is my new roommate, but I am kind of a big deal. Being back in Colorado, in a place I feel safe, I have busted out... and I am a riot.
"Keep up, falling, these heels they keep me boring; Getting glammed up and sitting on the fence now"
I am finally in a place where I feel like I can honestly say, I am happy and moving on with my life. I am open to meeting someone. I am loving going to Catholic Church, listening to 30 Seconds to Mars, running when I want with whoever I want... I fall down once and awhile, but I get back up. I am back in the game.
"That's not my name"
My boss asked if I was good at remembering things? Do you know who I am? I am the best at remembering things. They don't know that. They will. Soon. There have been quite a few times when I meet new guys and they call me Lauren, or don't even remember talking to me. I love joking around about those moments. I am almost 30... but I got here. Hell yes. I wonder what my theme song next year will be? I am so excited to find out.
