Somebody I Used to Know

Unless you are in that one percent, most of us lose touch with friends/lovers/etc that at one point meant the world to us.  Every now and then the song "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye flashes up on my ipod at work.  The song itself is about bitter feelings towards an ex-girlfriend and then she chimes in at the end with her side, which I love.  Every time the song makes me think.  

It is almost a surreal feeling to know that someone I loved and cared about so much exists in the world and I could not tell you a thing about them.  I could not tell you a thing about what they are doing at this exact moment but I could tell you what I gained from having them in my life.  I have been through some crazy things in this almost 31 years but I have never looked at anyone else and thought "why can't it be like that for me?"  I can remember thinking "why is this happening to me?"  But I know now.

I sometimes think of those "That I Used to Know."  I wonder if they think about me?  I wonder if they gained from knowing me?  I hope they are happy.  I hope that I influenced that in some way.  I wonder who is in my life right now that will be on that list in a couple of years? 

New York, Manning and Life

The boyfriend and I took our first trip together and what a better destination than New York City?  He got a taste of me falling asleep before take-off (it is truely a blessing) before we landed in the city that never sleeps.  We ordered room service and I geared up for a run that I have been looking forward to for a LONG time.  I woke up late but still headed out for an eleven mile jog around Central Park.  I zig-zagged to 5th Avenue where I saw hundreds of people waiting for the iPad3 and then found myself lost in one of the most amazing parks I have ever been in.  I visited NY when I was 18 and I found myself remembering that trip and the amazing friend that went with me... I fell in love with NYC.  After that the boyfriend and I hit the town... saw as much as we could and didn't stop until we got on the plane Sunday.  Overall... a success.  (Side note: remember he snores, in a drunken snoring episode Saturday night I asked him to roll over he goes, "What if I don't want to?"  Glad we are comfortable with eachother. Hah)

I get home, exhausted.  Only to walk out of a meeting Monday to find out the Broncos have signed Peyton Freaking Manning.  Hell yes.  Alot of mixed emotions from Tebow fans, but I hope they all follow him to New York.  I read this comment, "I stopped following the Broncos once I moved and got a life."  Hmmm... define life.

I am not sure what that comment meant, it wasn't directed at me but it made me think.  I get so annoyed with people that put things that people enjoy down to make themselves seem better.  You are not any better than the next person.  My idea of "life" has rarely fluctuated.  I want to be around people that love me and that I can trust.  The end. 

What do I enjoy in life?  I love to run, sometimes 15 miles at a time.  I want to volunteer.  I am not looking for your approval when it comes to what programs I choose.  I love the environment.  It can make me cry if I think about it long enough.  Republicans drive me nuts.  They all seem to use religion as a crutch, but aren't Christians supposed to help people?  All people?  I love the Broncos.  I am in love with the Hockey Player.  This is my life.  Don't judge it.  I don't judge yours. 

GO BRONCOS!

Nice

I got this in my inbox today... remember when I was trying to figure out why everything in my life was falling apart and changing.  I think I figured it out.

Soulmate

I elude to her.  Her presence is all over my blog in the form of quotes, pictures, adventures she drags me on... we went to college together, both moved, met for a happy hour a year ago and the rest is history.  She is my soulmate.  We can tell eachother what we think, good or bad, we are there for eachother and if it wasn't for her, I would have never taken a chance on the boyfriend.  Thank God she was there to tell me what I would be really risking by not dating him.

The Soulmate has been in a bit of a funk... but like the amazing Soulmate she is, she put all that aside this week to help me with my problems.  Which, as she so kindly reminded me, are not REAL problems.  We went to two dinners this week, the one last night that I really needed.  It was proceeded by a bottle of wine and my "Treat Yo Self" ladies confirming how amazing we really are.  As if we needed to be reminded. 

Dinner was with a few other friends, mostly new.  All different, all fun.  We laughed, made fun of eachother, made fun of ourselves.  Exactly what I needed.  I woke up early this morning to hit my first early run on 2012.  I got to work to have another reminder in my inbox from my Soulmate.

"Morgan, the need to criticize simply belies a longing for recognition, appreciation, and validation. None of which, however, can be obtained through criticism.  I'm sure it's just a phase they're going through."

What a great way to start the day?  And such a great reminder.  With that, a little Fun. -Some Nights playing in my head, another friend telling me how much I made her laugh last night and a phone call from the boyfriend... I finally remember, I have no real problems.

The Art of Tact

Sometimes the art of tact is lost and usually the result is one of stress, emotions and sometimes a change in that relationship.  Such has been my week.  I woke up today, no idea how I was going to get through... and then two songs and one album were thrown my way. 

It amazes me what a good song can do for a person.  There is always a song that applies to my mood or situation I am in... immediately I am lifted out of whatever funk I was put in or put myself in.  So while I struggle with how some people chose to address me, I now have the group Fun on my playlist along with Gotye- Someone I Used to Know and Carrie Underwood- Good Girl.  Highly suggest all of them if the art of tact was lost on you recently.

Don't Look Back

When I left Dallas, I made a list of all the things I was going to miss.  One thing that made that list was strip clubs.  I was going to miss the strip clubs in Dallas... not because I think strip clubs are so amazing, but for other reasons.  It gave me a chance to keep those nights I didn't want to end going and by going there I was the exact opposite of people's perception of me.  I loved that.

Last week I was ready to leave the bar and go home.  At that moment a friend turned to me and simply questioned, "Strip club?"  Yes.  With that, four of us got into a cab and headed to the closest strip club.  I haven't been since Dallas and I while in the cab I thought of my favorite strip club memories:

1. Taking all new hires to the strip club, telling them it was stormwater initiation.  And walking in on one of them calling her mom from the strip club bathroom floor saying she wasn't going to make it home.
2. Talking to one stripper about the military while a friend was giving out lap dances out of the corner of my eye.
3. Friend in New Orleans:  We are at a strip club.  Boyfriend on the other end of the phone: Was that Morgan's idea?

How was I going to top these three experiences?  Easily.  I paid for our cover and out of excitement my friend's boyfriend tackled my boyfriend, who quickly fell down to pop right back up.  This was followed by an evening of lap dances, me losing my purse and the boyfriend singing in loop "Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn" the next day and not knowing why, "Did they play that song last night?"

I was ready to go back to the strip club.  To step away from the expectations that have followed me around my entire life.  To remind myself I am fun, I like to do crazy things and I do not have to say or do anything because it makes someone else feel better about a situation.  I had a great time... and I look forward to my next reminder, my reminder that just because I used to be that way, I don't have to be anymore.  Being so serious is just boring.

Simple Reminders

I had a great dinner, with the boyfriend and my favorite couple that I go to the Bronco's homeopener with every year, on Saturday night.  It was a little family owned, hole in the wall Greek restaurant... not sure if it was the black liquorice shots or the amazing company... it turned into one of those nights that could have gone forever.  And I felt like it on Sunday morning.  I had to run 10 miles.  The running partner had already hit 12 miles, I had no choice but to get over myself and run.

The weather in Denver has not been ideal for running.  Sunday was sunny and 60 degrees.  I was going to do this... it wasn't my fastest run, but it was a great run.  I zoned out.  Smiled.  Thought about all the great people in my life at this exact moment, I thought about all those people that just caused drama that are no where insight... I noticed all the happy people of Denver out doing the exact same thing and I even saw the place I would love to get married in one day.  One day. I was running, doing exactly what I wanted.  My friends still invited me to their Sunday adventures, that I had to miss... but don't worry plenty of dinner parties are on the calendar.  It feels good to just be me.