Read This Later

This last week was a crazy one for me, two of my friends experienced a loss and the boyfriend experience the one year anniversary of losing his father.  I knew his dad.   I knew his dad, his family and even though I never thought we would be dating a year later, I am so happy we are.  And I was happy to share this anniversary with him.

When an event happens, it can feel like you are alone.  That it only happened to you.  Then you open your eyes and realize that your story could be told in 100 different ways by 100 different people that experienced the same thing.  The boyfriend and I headed out on Wednesday to a trendy new restaurant in town with another couple... the other guy had also lost a parent.  The four of us openly talked about the anniversary, their experiences, how they dealt with the losses in their life.  It was refreshing and I loved that the boyfriend was not alone.  I can not relate to this experience, but I very much love hearing about the people that matter to my friends, whether they are with us or not.

We wrapped up dinner and headed home.  Just as we were about to get out of the car, my friend's date handed the boyfriend an envelope and goes, "Read this later."  We both knew what it was about and I immediately loved the gesture.  I loved that this person opened up to someone he didn't really know about something so personal.  But shared.  And offered friendship.

"Hearing one voice in solidarity can be transforming for people."

We are all bonded in many different ways.  I find myself getting so busy, or frustrated on efforts that fall on deaf ears, that I forget how good it feels when someone reaches out to you.  It is important, no matter the age, to reach out to people, enjoy the human connection and in some cases, just remind them they are not alone. 

Amazing

I had a great friend visit me from Dallas on Friday.  I loved this guy like he was my brother.  A part of me knew that my dad was a little more comfortable with me living so far away because this guy and his family would do just about anything for me.  We don't talk as much since I moved, but seeing him on Friday, it was like nothing had changed.  By the end of the night we were taking shots and dancing all over my favorite hole-in-the-wall bar.  I was so happy that the boyfriend got to meet him and I hope to keep in touch with him always.

I realize I would never have made it without great friends standing all around me... to help me with the people that were bringing me down and remind me to just be. Because of all the advice and support, I can appreciate the people that challenged me to change.  I hated them in that moment, but without them I would have never moved home, challenged to find myself again and find love again.

Ever just stop?  Look around?  And love what you see and what you think of?  I am there.  I am so happy for all my friends that are happy, having babies, or the ones that just let me be a part of their adventure.  I am slowly figuring out that only I can make myself happy... what a relief.

Somebody I Used to Know

Unless you are in that one percent, most of us lose touch with friends/lovers/etc that at one point meant the world to us.  Every now and then the song "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye flashes up on my ipod at work.  The song itself is about bitter feelings towards an ex-girlfriend and then she chimes in at the end with her side, which I love.  Every time the song makes me think.  

It is almost a surreal feeling to know that someone I loved and cared about so much exists in the world and I could not tell you a thing about them.  I could not tell you a thing about what they are doing at this exact moment but I could tell you what I gained from having them in my life.  I have been through some crazy things in this almost 31 years but I have never looked at anyone else and thought "why can't it be like that for me?"  I can remember thinking "why is this happening to me?"  But I know now.

I sometimes think of those "That I Used to Know."  I wonder if they think about me?  I wonder if they gained from knowing me?  I hope they are happy.  I hope that I influenced that in some way.  I wonder who is in my life right now that will be on that list in a couple of years? 

New York, Manning and Life

The boyfriend and I took our first trip together and what a better destination than New York City?  He got a taste of me falling asleep before take-off (it is truely a blessing) before we landed in the city that never sleeps.  We ordered room service and I geared up for a run that I have been looking forward to for a LONG time.  I woke up late but still headed out for an eleven mile jog around Central Park.  I zig-zagged to 5th Avenue where I saw hundreds of people waiting for the iPad3 and then found myself lost in one of the most amazing parks I have ever been in.  I visited NY when I was 18 and I found myself remembering that trip and the amazing friend that went with me... I fell in love with NYC.  After that the boyfriend and I hit the town... saw as much as we could and didn't stop until we got on the plane Sunday.  Overall... a success.  (Side note: remember he snores, in a drunken snoring episode Saturday night I asked him to roll over he goes, "What if I don't want to?"  Glad we are comfortable with eachother. Hah)

I get home, exhausted.  Only to walk out of a meeting Monday to find out the Broncos have signed Peyton Freaking Manning.  Hell yes.  Alot of mixed emotions from Tebow fans, but I hope they all follow him to New York.  I read this comment, "I stopped following the Broncos once I moved and got a life."  Hmmm... define life.

I am not sure what that comment meant, it wasn't directed at me but it made me think.  I get so annoyed with people that put things that people enjoy down to make themselves seem better.  You are not any better than the next person.  My idea of "life" has rarely fluctuated.  I want to be around people that love me and that I can trust.  The end. 

What do I enjoy in life?  I love to run, sometimes 15 miles at a time.  I want to volunteer.  I am not looking for your approval when it comes to what programs I choose.  I love the environment.  It can make me cry if I think about it long enough.  Republicans drive me nuts.  They all seem to use religion as a crutch, but aren't Christians supposed to help people?  All people?  I love the Broncos.  I am in love with the Hockey Player.  This is my life.  Don't judge it.  I don't judge yours. 

GO BRONCOS!

Nice

I got this in my inbox today... remember when I was trying to figure out why everything in my life was falling apart and changing.  I think I figured it out.

Soulmate

I elude to her.  Her presence is all over my blog in the form of quotes, pictures, adventures she drags me on... we went to college together, both moved, met for a happy hour a year ago and the rest is history.  She is my soulmate.  We can tell eachother what we think, good or bad, we are there for eachother and if it wasn't for her, I would have never taken a chance on the boyfriend.  Thank God she was there to tell me what I would be really risking by not dating him.

The Soulmate has been in a bit of a funk... but like the amazing Soulmate she is, she put all that aside this week to help me with my problems.  Which, as she so kindly reminded me, are not REAL problems.  We went to two dinners this week, the one last night that I really needed.  It was proceeded by a bottle of wine and my "Treat Yo Self" ladies confirming how amazing we really are.  As if we needed to be reminded. 

Dinner was with a few other friends, mostly new.  All different, all fun.  We laughed, made fun of eachother, made fun of ourselves.  Exactly what I needed.  I woke up early this morning to hit my first early run on 2012.  I got to work to have another reminder in my inbox from my Soulmate.

"Morgan, the need to criticize simply belies a longing for recognition, appreciation, and validation. None of which, however, can be obtained through criticism.  I'm sure it's just a phase they're going through."

What a great way to start the day?  And such a great reminder.  With that, a little Fun. -Some Nights playing in my head, another friend telling me how much I made her laugh last night and a phone call from the boyfriend... I finally remember, I have no real problems.

The Art of Tact

Sometimes the art of tact is lost and usually the result is one of stress, emotions and sometimes a change in that relationship.  Such has been my week.  I woke up today, no idea how I was going to get through... and then two songs and one album were thrown my way. 

It amazes me what a good song can do for a person.  There is always a song that applies to my mood or situation I am in... immediately I am lifted out of whatever funk I was put in or put myself in.  So while I struggle with how some people chose to address me, I now have the group Fun on my playlist along with Gotye- Someone I Used to Know and Carrie Underwood- Good Girl.  Highly suggest all of them if the art of tact was lost on you recently.