Relationships. All relationships involve compromise. Whether it is a coworker, roommate, friend, or lover one finds themselves in situations where they need to compromise. If you are in the wrong relationship you may in fact compromise on something that at the time doesn't feel like a big deal, but in reality was a piece of who you were. In the past I have struggled with "when am I compromising" versus "when am I compromising myself." At the end of my last relationship, I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I had changed so much about myself to save the relationship that I didn't know who I was anymore. I have had some friends that in order to maintain the friendship I had to constantly put their needs in front of my own.. needless to say when I started to define myself again, those relationships did not last.
I did not want to make this mistake again. I never want to be lost in my head. So I did what any engineer would do, I made a list. I wrote down everything I loved about myself and promised never to compromise with anything on that list. So far, so good. I was alone and I embraced it. I love what I see in the mirror everyday. I work everyday to be a better person. I still make mistakes. But everything I do, everything I say, I own it. I own it because it makes me, me.
My friend sent me this link to the video below. I love it. It reminds me of all those nights I sat alone in Dallas, reading, writing, running, dancing in the mirror, redefining myself and owning where I was. "Lonely is healing if you make it." I still need my alone time to reflect and sometimes heal. Alone time allows me to verify I am owning who I am, that I like who I am and on those days where I don't want to explain my position to someone that will never understand because they have a hard time owning who they are... I can just smile and be alone. Take a deep breathe, look around and be thankful that I know who I am again.
