On Sunday the boyfriend and I were driving home after dropping off a couple of SUPs (stand up paddleboards) at REI after a great weekend camping with some great friends. We were coming up to a red light at an intersection when I noticed to the left a young woman, reluctantly trying to unfold her cardboard sign.
Colorado is no stranger to homeless people or people asking for handouts. It was one of the first things I noticed when I moved back, I can remember asking my dad, "When did it get to be so bad?" I try to help when I can, but I rarely have cash on me. I understand that not everyone needs the money, or will use it for things society feels they should. It is not for me to decide who is worthy and who is not. However, I find myself becoming numb to the image or noticing the same people on the same corner that detour me from helping anyone.
I sat in the passenger side of the car. Watching. She looked close to my age and was pretty well kept, decent shoes, a shirt that was clearly from the Goodwill or donated to her... she struggled to open her sign. The look on her face was one of pain, she hated that she was standing there. I hated that she was standing there. She didn't get the sign open in time for me to read it before the light changed. As the cars started moving forward she folded up her sign and began to cry.
I felt my stomach sink as we got further and further away. I wanted to go back and give her something, food, money, water... tell her it was going to be okay. I didn't even tell the boyfriend how I felt at that exact moment. I can't get her out of my head.
