Guilty Pleasure

MTV.  Without a doubt, watching MTV is my guilty pleasure.  It started when my best friend growing up had an older brother who always watched Real World- New York, the original.  I was too young to understand how great this season was and how it would ultimately define how Americans watch TV.  It was the first wave of reality tv.  I spent countless hours watching music videos, never missed a MTV Video Music Awards show and found myself trying to keep up with pop culture like any other teen in the 90s by watching Carson Daily.

I grew with MTV.  I think Cancun for spring break in college can be credited to MTV Spring Break.  Or my need to understand politics and how they affect young people.  Although I believe I have outgrown what MTV now offers (alot of crap), certain things like the Challenges which bring back old Real World stars, True Life Documentaries or Teen Mom, keep me coming back for more.  I still go to the website to watch new music videos, since they stopped airing them years ago.  I no longer have cable.  I hate to imagine what all I would be watching if I still had 24 hour access to MTV.  Because believe me, if I have cable, MTV is still the first channel I turn to.

Earliest Childhood Memory

Skipping the Meaning of My Business Name because what is that?

My brother was born right before I turned 4 years old.  I have this memory and he is nowhere around so I am going to assume this happened when I was around 3 years old.  This is my earliest memory, not to be confused with my favorite... if you know me, you know I remember alot of random things.  So I think it is kinda funny that I remember this and I remember it like you would recall a drunk night out.  Where you have flashes of events and you are able to connect them in a way that you can figure out what happened.  I sometimes wonder if I remember this more than my parents...

The first house I remember us living in was in Thornton, up the street from a mall.  One night my parents and I were at a department store looking around... and in a moment, I lost site of my parents and started to wonder off.  I can remember thinking I was following them and eventually realized they were not my parents.  I started to run.  The store was huge.  Everything around me seemed larger than life.  I knew I was going to be in trouble.  One adult asked me if I knew where my parents were and I said "yes" and darted off in another direction.  I could hear my name being called on the loud speaker and I knew I was in even more trouble.  But I couldn't understand the instructions were, only that they were saying my name.  I was near the bottom of the escalators, sitting on a couch for sale when my parents popped out of nowhere.  I may or may not have tried to run away again.. but my dad grabbed me, he hugged me, my mom yelled at me and I was told never to do that again.

I remember alot from my childhood.  I can remember the fear I felt that day and wanting to cling onto my dad and not my mom.  I think that set the tone for the next 15 years of memories.

20 Facts About Me

1. I am the oldest of four kids. 1 brother, 2 sisters
2. I enjoy endurance races.  2- Marathons, 1- Half Ironman
3. New Years is my favorite holiday.
4. I am a CRAZY Denver Bronco Fan.
5. My dad is my best friend.
6. I think I would be a better math teacher than engineer but not sure I could handle the decrease in pay.
7. I have to plan everything.  I have gotten a little better but I can still drive some people crazy.
8. I am always early or on time.  I can't handle being late but even when I try to be late, I am on time.
9. I am passionate about alot of things, however protecting the environment is on top of that list.
10. It hurts every time I lose a friend or relationships in my life get downgraded.
11. I can't imagine voting Republican.  Ever.
12. I stay informed.  I think sometimes this does me more harm than good.
13. I know where I want to get married even though I have never been engaged.
14. I can't stop watching MTV.
15. I am happy that boy bands are making a comeback.  But try to stay out of the mainstream with all other music, I think it makes me look cool.  Always have thought that.
16. I went to a middle school that was predominately black students.  But I have little rhythm and I have been called tone deaf.
17. I have met the best guy ever.  And it still scares the hell out of me.
18. I still dance in front of my mirror.
19. I think I looked better at 30 than I did at 20.
20. I hold myself to some ridiculously high standard, but I can't imagine life any other way.

In a Funk

What did I realize after my race?  I must be in a little bit of a funk to put such a negative spin on a great weekend.  I even found myself being negative about things that don't effect me.  I realize being positive is something I have to work at and I have to always try to focus on the positive things.  I have seen this 31 Day Blog Challenge floating around and I thought it would be a good chance to write, be positive and tell you a little bit about myself.  So the challenge is below, I will try to keep up with it (might be hard on the weekends) but I think this will be a great way to realize just how great my life is.  I consider this the Introduction 

Marathon #2

I went to San Diego to run a marathon.  I completed it in 4:37.  Not a personal record, not in style, but I finished it.  I got out of the gate too fast and sadly I realized it at mile 20... and at that point there was nothing I could do about it.  I decided to run/walk the rest of the race which mentally about killed me.  Here I was, doing something I set out to do, but I didn't do it well.  And I couldn't get past that.  I had one of the best guys I have ever had in my life there cheering me on, a running partner that wouldn't leave my side... and I somehow lost focus and I even think I tried to cry at one point. 

When did I start feeling sorry for myself? 

Although it was not a PR, my goal was to finish this race with the running partner.  I did.  I knew going in that my training was average, so I expected an average race.  Yet I still found myself disappointed with my effort.  Every race is different.  Every day is different.  Sometimes things happen or things happen outside your control, but you shouldn't lose sight of the big picture or what is important.  No one will ever remember my second marathon time, but they will remember I finished it. 

I even had a smile on my face when I did. I think that should tell me something. And yes, there will be another marathon... hopefully I can get the running partner to the finish line on better terms.

'Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it. ' -Oprah 

Another 26.2

In two days I will be running my second marathon.  I almost can't believe it.  Training this time around was not as easy as the last marathon.  I was in a new relationship, traveling, it was snowing, it was hot, I was busy, I was eating the wrong thing, I gained back my depression weight... believe me I came up with every excuse in the world.  I think I even tried to back out a few times. 

This time my support system seemed thin.  I had no idea how big of difference that made.  I felt like I was defending why I ran, why I was running 18 miles instead of heading to the mountains early, or why I was staying in on Friday night.  Even fellow runners who have thrown the towel in on running 26.2 and stick to smaller races, felt the need to tell me that they didn't understand the desire to run another marathon.  I had a hard time understanding why "just because you don't run marathons, doesn't mean what I am trying to do isn't amazing." 

In Dallas, I raced.  I was surrounded by people that were training for distances twice as long as mine, they always understood.  They understood why I went home early so I could run the next day.  Or why I would eat bland pasta over Mexican food.  They understood why I ran.  I found myself turning to them as much as I could, for support, help and advice.  Anything to get those training miles in.  This morning I started to freak out, so I turned to my old coach in Dallas, "Morgan my dear you will do great, you just have to go out & do it most of a marathon is mental your body has done this before it knows what it takes, just don't give in to your mind."  Damn my mind.

I also had to turn to quotes and magazines to get my mind in the game.  I posted a few of my favorite and few that I will keep in mind as I hit that elusive Mile 21.  In fact, only 0.15% of the American population will complete a marathon this year.  I am not part of the majority for sure, in fact my critics are the majority.

Either way, no more excuses.  I run because I love it.  It keeps me sane.  I will always run.  I doubt this is my last marathon, I just hope my next one I give training all I have and mentally get in the game. 

The boyfriend and I are headed to San Diego to meet the old running partner and his wife.  I think the running partner and I are both excited to have our main support system there... the running partner told me he wanted a new PR. Here we go...

To Do List

Cross it off.  The Maroon Bells near Aspen, Colorado.  These mountain peaks are some of the most photographed in the world, yet two Colorado natives had never been there.  The boyfriend and I were excited to set out for a quiet weekend, just the two of us in the mountains.  We left Saturday after my last long run before my marathon on June 3 in San Diego and headed to Aspen.  I hadn't been in the mountains since I went to closing weekend in Vail and all the way up I questioned why there was so much time between trips. 

With the help of one of my old coworkers, I made a Country Music Playlist for the boyfriend and it got us all the way to the Bells.  After a picnic at the trail head, we headed out to see what all the fuss was about... they are worth the fuss.  We took off on each of the three trails around the Maroon Bells, it took us about 3 hours total to get it all in.  However, we were constantly stopping to look around, take pictures and just enjoy the mountains.  For a popular spot on a holiday weekend, we didn't run into that many people but I decided I want to come back, next time with a fishing pole and a tent.  We made it to the lake at the top, Carter Lake... this is the last spot along a trail coming in from Snowmass... yes, I will be back.

After I decided I had enough of the wind, I apparently have a 3 hour tolerance, we went to our hotel for the night in Historic Redstone, CO.  Loved it.  Loved the Crystal River, the green trees, the historic room, the 1920s bar... perfect.  We would spend the rest of the weekend taking in the sites around Redstone, including Marble, CO where the marble for the Lincoln Monument was mined.  I got to try out my new fly rod for the first time... in the wind.  The boyfriend caught a fish, I just saw a ton of snakes.  But I love it.  Putting on the waders, boots and trying to walk around in the water.  I really don't care if I ever catch a single fish.  I love watching the boyfriend do something he enjoys so much, that is fun enough for me.

It had been awhile since I could cross something off the list... I can't wait to cross off the next item.