Happy Valentine's Day

That holiday that has turned into something we hate.  It seems that Valentine's Day is set up by corporate America to get us to buy stuff, to make us feel alone or take something as simple as love and complicate it.  I have really enjoyed my last few Valentine's Days alone... 2010 was spent in the snow in Dallas with some great girlfriends.  Last year was with a new friend and her mom eating Pho and ice cream.  This year I won't be surrounded by amazing girlfriends.  I have finally found what we think about on Valentine's Day.

This doesn't make me any less grateful for the amazing women that have come in and out of my life.  Who are there when the guy in my life has left. If I haven't personally told you lately, I love all my friends... and I would not be in such a great place today if it wasn't for each one of you.  Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day.

Growing Up

Sometimes, if I just stop, I can picture my first childhood home.  I can picture Kelly, who lived down the street.  We were inseparable.  She was my best friend and she was always going to be my best friend, until her family moved.

Just after Kelly moved, a new family moved in next door.  Steve was my new best friend.  We would ride bikes all over the neighborhood.  We would usually make it over to the steepest hill in the world where the trek up was worth it for the ride down.  We were best friends and he was always going to be my best friend.  Then I moved.

This story continued in loop for the next 24 years and it is still looping.  Sometimes friends from my past will loop back into the present, or I might see them in the future, but the story stays the same.  There is a time after every loop out of my life that I get sad.  I hate to see people that mean something to me at some point go.  I hate when I loop out of their life.  I am human and I am not always going to do things the way others woud prefer.  I guess I just hold on to the idea that it is not malicious and wait for them to loop back into my life in the future... and we can pick up right where we left off.  If not, just smile and thank them for the friendship that will always mean something good to me.

Just a Reminder

With all they events that took place over the last year, I want to write pages about those friends that I have loved and lost... but this says it all (from a true friend).

Booked

Here I go again.  In a matter of 48 hours I managed to book plane tickets to Hanoi, Vietnam, New York City and buy tickets to see the Black Keys and Snow Patrol... and while I was at it I got Colorado Rockies tickets to the home opener and firework game for the Fourth of July.  How else can you spend over $2000 in two days... it felt like old times.  I have always wanted to go to Vietnam.  I have a friend that is currently traveling the world and before he left I told him I would meet him in Vietnam.  Why do I want to go to Vietnam?  Wait until I show you the pictures.  My boyfriend will be by my side for all these adventures.  He is for sure a "why not" kind of guy... which I love... and I guess it might get us into a little trouble... but isn't that just living life?

I met an old coworker for a going away dinner the other night.  Her journey was taking her to Australia for two years to work and live.  We are both over 30, not married and we travel, a ton.  We talked about our lacking savings accounts and other things we could be saving money to do... but at the end we decided, why?  Why not just go now?  It may mean I will be working until I am 70, but in all honesty I could die tomorrow.  I am meeting with a financial advisor tomorrow, if the Blizzard of 2012 doesn't prevent me from getting there... I guess I am looking for a third party to tell me I am doing ok, that I am living life and that a huge bank account is not necessary...

Well, I guess I will have to think about the savings account I should have, the house I should own and the husband and kids that should be in my life on my 24 hour flight to Hanoi with a new travel partner by my side.

Good Luck

When I was in Dallas I had a few amazing coworkers.  I worked with this one guy from another group loved him and then fell in love with his wife.  As I was leaving they were about to have their first baby.  I offered to throw them a baby shower (really glad I did because I wasn't there for baby #2).  As a thank you the wife gave me a necklace with a four-leaf clover on it.  It was simple.  I loved it.  I told her I was going to wear it until it fell off... and maybe then my luck will change.

The necklace is gone.  I am not sure if it fell off or what?  I have been looking for it for weeks, but then I thought about how I told her I was going to wear it until my luck changed.  I looked back on all the pictures since I got the necklace... I have it on all the time.  My luck has changed. 

I can feel myself becoming more comfortable in my own skin.  I love where I am in life and I am not afraid to make changes.  I am traveling again, I love my friends and I love my boyfriend.  I am happy at my job and I love where I live.  I am not going to lie, I miss the necklace and I miss her.  But I love what the two brought me... hope and strength.

Snowboarding... finally

I crossed off "Snowboarding Lesson" on my Colorado List of Things To-Do.  I have known for the last couple of years, that I was one private lesson away from going down the mountain like everyone else.  The thing is, I usually go snowboarding with friends, who are better than me and as a social outing... so it was hard for me to drop $200 to isolate myself for a few hours.  When the boyfriend offered to teach me, I had flashbacks to other guys who have offered to teach me... One was a friend who simply yelled, "Just get up."  Yeah... that didn't end well.  So I was hesitant.  And in light of being broke and getting more frustrated, I finally asked for help.

It counts as a lesson.

We got up to Breckenridge early and started the lesson on the first run of the day.  It was just the two of us for the first time since our fishing trip... it was nice, different than anything I have done with any othe boyfriend in the past.  The mountains finally got some snow, so there was a powder day.  After a few tips, forcing myself to go out of my comfort zone... I did it... I connected my turns on the snow board.  The boyfriend stayed behind me to make sure people knew I was going slow and falling all over the place in front of him... he even caught some of the action on video... it was a great day.

We ended it by meeting my old intern for a beer, who was up visiting and we took off.  I am already planning to go up again this weekend... and I finally got excited about learning something I just didn't have the time for before.  Again, it is good to be home.

Martin Luther King

A little fact about me, I went to a predominately black middle school, Martin Luther King Jr Middle School.  To quote one of my friends, "That explains so much."  The school was 80% black students, then some percentage of Mexican and then the white kids and "other."  I was the only white student in any of my core classes during the 6th grade... that was a rough year for me.  I quickly did what any middle school student would do and tried to blend in.  The blond hair and freckles didn't make it easy.  I can even remember one guy asking me if I was albino.  Nonetheless, I went to school everyday, tried to hide the fact that I knew how to do the math homework and just blend in. 

TLC quickly became my music of choice, followed by the pair of colored FILAS and nodding my head when the kids would use the term "chronic" as an adjective, verb, noun... what I would have given to have Google on my phone then.  I learned alot about life and how society starts to influence what we say and who we hang out with.  It was not easy.

I was in the band.  I wasn't the best but I was good enough to be respected.  We had an amazing band.  When MLK Day would roll around, the band and choir would put on a school performance like you had never seen.  I learned about the man in every class and he was celebrated.  I would then spend the next month of February learning tons of black history and reading things I might have otherwise, never picked up.

I hated that school.  I hated not just blending in with everyone.  Since those hard 2+ years, I transferred in the eighth grade, I have done nothing but blend in.  I look like everyone around me.  I think Dr. King's dream may have passed right over me... and I hate that.