In 'Nam

I can't really explain it.  I once read an article about how Vietnam is a country where communism works, a country that has vast terrain and fish farms.  I was sold.  Fish farms?  I have to see this.  And for some reason I have never taken this Asian country, that so many people associate with the War, off my bucket list.  We fly into Hanoi, the capital, for sure I will travel to Ha Long Bay... past that?  để cho các cuộc phiêu lưu bắt đầu

Vietnam

My last Saturday in Dallas was spent packing up a kitchen that would never make it to Denver.  All my old friends and coworkers were playing in a company softball game that my ex was organizing.  I tried to be a part of it but like everything else, it wasn't worth the trouble that it began to cause.  As the day softball game turned into a night baseball game, I realized no one was going to call to see if I wanted to go out.  I sent a few texts, called a few friends in Colorado and sat there looking out my loft window and warming up a pizza.  Then he called... my old coworker that would take over my lease once I moved.

I tried to tell him I was busy but he convinced me that I needed to go out.  He convinced me to try to go see a movie.  Sold out.  Then he asked me to go get sushi.  I had already ate dinner.  I went with him anyways.  He took me to a place I had never been.  I don't remember what we talked about but we would talk all through dinner until his friends showed up.  If I remember correctly he did everything he could to confirm leaving Dallas was best for me and he tried so hard to make my last weekend there fun.  The night continued with conversations and drinks.  I would stay out to late and miss my morning run with the running partner, but I owed it to my friend to stay out.  He reached out his hand in friendship when I really needed it.  Few did in Dallas.

This guy would eventually go on to move into my loft and quit his job to travel the world less than a year later.  I told him I would meet him in Vietnam.  And I meant it.  The boyfriend and I leave next Thursday night for Hanoi, Vietnam.  I can't wait to see him.  I can't wait to see him happy.  I can't wait for him to see me happy.  I can't wait for a redo at that last dinner, hopefully I smile more this time.

Lost for Words

After an amazing weekend, surrounded by amazing friends, these images sum up how I feel:

Good Bye 30

In less than 24 hours I will officially be 30 something.  I loved 30.  It started out with some self reflection when I was told in a bar that I will always be alone.  Followed by my first summer home in 7 years, dating again, lessons learned in friendships, learning to snowboard and my favorite part... falling in love again.  I got my feet under me and finally made a place my home after moving 5 times in 18 months... I got to the point where life made sense again.  I got to the point where I was happy again.

So now what 31?  Here we go.  I have various concerts on the schedule, Vietnam, Dallas, a marathon in San Diego and London all booked.  I hope to go camping and backpacking as much as my schedule will permit.  I know it sounds busy... but the actual welcoming of 30 will start slow with a date night tonight, consisting of dinner and The Bully Project Documentary.  Tomorrow I will wake up, run 13, have breakfast and go to sushi with 9 people that made 30 very memorable.  Sunday the boyfriend and I will head to my dad's for a BBQ.  I am so excited!  There were so many positive things that happened this last year, that I really can't even remember the negative.  I am sure I could if I thought long and hard... but I don't want to.  I like where I am right now... that is good enough for me.

Last Winter Weekend

“So why were we doing a team cheer last night?”

It was the last ski weekend in Vail this past weekend.  The winter season brought Summit County no snow.  So when a few friends asked if I would be interested in booking a weekend up in Vail for the last opportunity to snowboard, what else was there to say?  But yes. 

The group was a different one.  Friends from all over, new ones, old ones and some people I didn’t know at all, but it worked.  The boyfriend and I headed up Saturday morning after I had an amazing 17 mile run in the crisp, Colorado spring air.  We headed west, no snow.  From the highway it looked like people were skiing on dirt mounds, don’t tell me global warming isn’t doing something.  This just confirmed why we didn’t bring our gear.  The rest of our friends spent the day on the dirt, drinking, laughing and snowboarding.  We all met up to go to dinner and watch a concert in the town, JJ Grey and Mofro (I love the little reminders of the south).

Right as we entered the restaurant, it started to snow.  Really snow.  Perfect for our last winter weekend in the mountains.  We enjoyed good food and shot of tequila then headed out to the concert.  After the unexpected jam session we retreated to the bathrooms which were located inside a parking garage.  Then it happened. 

That moment where you are not sure how you got there, or why you got there, but you remember being there.  As clear as I can remember it, two people started to do yoga.  This led to the boyfriend trying to stretch as well.

The girl doing yoga: Are you flexible.
Boyfriend: Not really, but I play hockey.
The girl doing yoga: Really? Can you do the stretches the hockey players do before the game?
Boyfriend: The groin stretch? Yeah.
The girl doing yoga (really excited): I want to see you do it.
He does. We take pictures.

The girl doing yoga turns to me and goes that is hot.  Then we are all the ground stretching, which leads to a team break out cheer, followed by people requesting pictures with us.  All of this right outside the bathroom in a parking garage.  We head out to the next bar.

The next morning we all slowly wake up.  The boyfriend asks, “So why were we doing a team cheer last night?”  Well… because sometimes when you "just be", great things happen.

Read This Later

This last week was a crazy one for me, two of my friends experienced a loss and the boyfriend experience the one year anniversary of losing his father.  I knew his dad.   I knew his dad, his family and even though I never thought we would be dating a year later, I am so happy we are.  And I was happy to share this anniversary with him.

When an event happens, it can feel like you are alone.  That it only happened to you.  Then you open your eyes and realize that your story could be told in 100 different ways by 100 different people that experienced the same thing.  The boyfriend and I headed out on Wednesday to a trendy new restaurant in town with another couple... the other guy had also lost a parent.  The four of us openly talked about the anniversary, their experiences, how they dealt with the losses in their life.  It was refreshing and I loved that the boyfriend was not alone.  I can not relate to this experience, but I very much love hearing about the people that matter to my friends, whether they are with us or not.

We wrapped up dinner and headed home.  Just as we were about to get out of the car, my friend's date handed the boyfriend an envelope and goes, "Read this later."  We both knew what it was about and I immediately loved the gesture.  I loved that this person opened up to someone he didn't really know about something so personal.  But shared.  And offered friendship.

"Hearing one voice in solidarity can be transforming for people."

We are all bonded in many different ways.  I find myself getting so busy, or frustrated on efforts that fall on deaf ears, that I forget how good it feels when someone reaches out to you.  It is important, no matter the age, to reach out to people, enjoy the human connection and in some cases, just remind them they are not alone. 

Amazing

I had a great friend visit me from Dallas on Friday.  I loved this guy like he was my brother.  A part of me knew that my dad was a little more comfortable with me living so far away because this guy and his family would do just about anything for me.  We don't talk as much since I moved, but seeing him on Friday, it was like nothing had changed.  By the end of the night we were taking shots and dancing all over my favorite hole-in-the-wall bar.  I was so happy that the boyfriend got to meet him and I hope to keep in touch with him always.

I realize I would never have made it without great friends standing all around me... to help me with the people that were bringing me down and remind me to just be. Because of all the advice and support, I can appreciate the people that challenged me to change.  I hated them in that moment, but without them I would have never moved home, challenged to find myself again and find love again.

Ever just stop?  Look around?  And love what you see and what you think of?  I am there.  I am so happy for all my friends that are happy, having babies, or the ones that just let me be a part of their adventure.  I am slowly figuring out that only I can make myself happy... what a relief.